i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
