I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
