The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
