So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
