Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
