there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
