Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
