I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
