come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
