How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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