it hurts more in the daytime
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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