im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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