Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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