I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
