Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
