you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
