Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
They left me at home... I'm a liability
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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