Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
