Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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