she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
