dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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