yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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