Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize
