..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
