What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize
