toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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