I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
