Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
