Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
