i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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