Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
