she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
He kissed a someone with a penis
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
