Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
