So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
