I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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