So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
