so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
