i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
