it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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