Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
