Just mADE A PArabola og urine
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I think your dad took our porno
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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