Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
