I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
