i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
