UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
