my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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