Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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