i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
