At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm like, not good at living.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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