So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
