Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
