i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
